Engineering Terms

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What the Engineer says (What it really means)

bulletA number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still grasping at straws.)
bulletWe're working on a fresh approach to the problem. (We just hired three kids fresh out of college.)
bulletClose project coordination. (We know who to blame.)
bulletMajor technological break through. (It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.)
bulletCustomer satisfaction upon delivery is assured. (We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.)
bulletPreliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The thing blew up when we threw the switch.)
bulletTest results were extremely gratifying. (We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.)
bulletThe entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only person who understood the thing quit.)
bulletIt is in process. (It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.)
bulletWe'll look into it. (Forget it; we have enough problems for now.)
bulletPlease read and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.)
bulletGive us the benefit of your thoughts. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.)
bulletGive us your interpretation. (I can't wait to hear this!)
bulletSee me, or Let's Discuss. (Come into my office, I'm lonely.)
bulletAll new! (Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.)
bulletRugged (Too heavy to lift!)
bulletLightweight (Lighter than rugged.)
bulletYears of development (One finally worked.)
bulletEnergy saving (Achieved when the power switch is off.)
bulletLow maintenance (Impossible to fix if broken.)

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"To define it rudely but not inaptly, engineering is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion."

- Arthur Mellen Wellington (184795), U.S. engineer

 

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Copyright 1996 - 2012 by David J. Wardell.  All Rights Reserved.

Revised: Tuesday, September 07, 2004 03:54:16 AM