How To Prepare For A Puppy

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bulletPour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.
bulletWear a sock to work that has had the toe shredded by a blender.
bulletImmediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying, "Be a good puppy, hurry up -come on, lets go!"
bulletCover all your best suits with dog hair. Dark suits must use white hair, and light suits must use dark hair.
bulletAlso float some hair in your first cup of coffee in the morning.
bulletPlay "catch" with a wet tennis ball.
bulletRun out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.
bulletTip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.
bulletLeave your underwear on the living room floor because that's where the dog will drag it anyway. (Especially when you have company.)
bulletJump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV program and run to the door shouting, "No no! Do that OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program.
bulletPut chocolate pudding on the carpet in the morning, and don't try to clean it up until you return from work that evening.
bulletGouge the leg of the dinning room table several times with a screwdriver -it's going to get chewed on anyway.
bulletTake a warm and cuddly blanket out of the dryer and immediately wrap it around yourself. This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap.

- Author Unknown