Lessons Of Life

Up Foods For Thought Safety Fireworks Telephone Flag God Bless America Pledge of Allegiance Danny Boy Dollar Academic Phrases Engineering Terms Funniest Joke Makes You Wonder Communication Kitchen Plaques Axis Of Evil Blix What They Said Leaders Pseudo-Science Lies Lessons Of Life Project Planning Avian Carriers Change Post-Impressionist Jet Fuel Prices Parking Award Virtual California Not My Job Award Employment Wanted Windows 2000 Do Not Pass Aircraft Some Days ... Dignity of Labor British Money Shakespeare Shakespearean Insults Taliban The Calf-Path Star Trek Ghost Witch Wreck Halloween Pets Thanksgiving Christmas Caedmon

Home Search Information Special Collection Special Messages Links Classic Radio Friends of JOTD

horizontal rule

The Lessons of Life
(Or Wisdom From Senior Citizens)

 

bullet

 I started with nothing. I still have most of it.

bullet

 When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?

bullet

 I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

bullet

 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

bullet

 All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.

bullet

 If all is not lost, where is it?

bullet

 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

bullet

 If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

bullet

 The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.

bullet

 I tried to get a life once, but they told me they were out of stock.

bullet

 I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

bullet

 It was so different before everything changed.

bullet

 Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

bullet

 I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.

bullet

 It's not the pace of life that concerns me; it's the sudden stop at the end.

bullet

 It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

bullet

 Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a trip around the sun.

bullet

 Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run. (He hates that.)

bullet

 Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself)

bullet

 When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess?

bullet

 If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.

bullet

 There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick & the dead.

bullet

 An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

bullet

 A closed mouth gathers no feet.

bullet

 Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

bullet

 It's not hard to meet expenses; they're everywhere.

bullet

 Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

bullet

 The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

 

horizontal rule

Subscriptions | Classic Tales | Famous Folk | Out WestTad & Buster Tales | Ma & Pa Tales | Parrot Tales
DW's Joke of the Day | Information | Special Collection | Special Messages | LinksClassic Radio | Friends


What's the Scrolling Bar All About?

 

Copyright 1996 - 2012 by David J. Wardell.  All Rights Reserved.

Revised: Tuesday, September 07, 2004 03:53:34 AM